When you think you might be broken. A million unreachable paths laid out before you. None of them make a bit of sense. None of them offer comfort. Nothing familiar appears at the entrance to any of them. So you spin out of control, trying to decide. You turn and turn until your world turns into a dizzy mess before your eyes. You have no direction. You can not stop, but you have no idea how to start. So you spin and spin and hope with all your heart that someone will just come rescue you, and tell you that you can stop…they will guide you. You are fine. You don’t have to be scared. You will be led.
But no one is coming for you. In fact, you will be leading this expedition. There will be people depending on you. And you are not prepared to guide. No, you ae not even prepared to stop and chose a path. None look promising, ominous clouds covering everything in sight. You are not ready to guide this exploration to better days, and you have no way.
You…I. I. I will leave my heart there in the swirling mess of chaos I leave behind. I will pick a road, any road, the one ahead when my eyes clear up and my vision returns. Any old road. And I will travel it. Carrying the load I must, dragging behind me what remains of my world, and just walk. Slowly. Quickly. It really doesn’t matter, so long as I go where I fear. So long as I drag my feet forward when my knees want to buckle. So long as I know that there is only one chance I have at survival – trust. Trust that everything is what it was meant to be. Trust that I am where I am meant to be. Trust that this is my path…even if it feels foreign.